“Hello..”
“Hi.. hello..” said an enthusiastic male voice at the other end.
“Who’s this?” I asked placing the hands-free between my shoulder and ear.
“Hey dude, haven’t you recognized me?..”
Haven’t you recognized?
Some people have such abysmal, dumb behaviors. Why can’t they introduce themselves when they call over the phone. It is so infuriating. Still, there are others who have the cheek to call upon you and insist to know who you are. I remember once a female voice calling and asking, “Who’s speaking?”
Someone calling your home doesn’t know who they are talking to?
Who’s speaking?
I guess I must have been in a terrible mood when I received that call ‘cause I answered, “Your pop!”
“What!!!” There was a long silence before the line went dead. Slowly but surely I realized it was one of my close friends’ wife. Within seconds the phone started to buzz again. I did not pick it up, I was not at home..:)
“Hey dude.. are you there?” The voice at the other end blurted again. With excitement.
“Yess..” I said involuntarily. I was getting agitated by now!
“Hey.. don’t you know my voice?”
“Hey, hello..” my patience was over the edge by now, “are you some Amitabh Bachchan that I will recognize your voice? ”
There was a gasp at the other end, then a deep breath.
“Hey.. it’s me.. Brian.. your classmate.. remember now?”
It was a familiar voice no doubt. I recalled the glory days!
“Hey Briany.. how you doing man?” I asked, “When did you come to Kuwait?”
“Just a week now... The best person to guide me this part of the world, I thought, would be you.. ..you’ve been here for a while now.. isn’t it? So, I picked up the phone and....”
“Ahlan-wa-salhan.. Welcome to Kuwait!”
For almost an hour we discussed about life here and there, then and now, the weather there and here, the standard and comfort of living in Kuwait and elsewhere, before my friend wished to know the advanced secrets of living abroad.
“Apart from the basic needs such as food, shelter, etc, there is a special package for the minimum requirements of survival in Kuwait.” I told him.
“And what is that, may I know?” he asked.
“To live in Kuwait, you need to have WMDs.”
“Weapons of Mass Destruction!!!?”
“The WMDs I am talking about are for survival in Kuwait!”
“Hmm.. tell me more..!”
“The first one is Wasta. Loosely translated, ‘wasta’ is connections of methods by which we obtain difficult things in an easier manner (and usually outwit the rules). Living in Kuwait necessitates ‘wasta’. Without it, you cannot get anything done; well you can, but it will be difficult. You need ‘wasta’ for paperwork, to get a job - no matter how well educated you are, etc, etc, even to rent an apartment.. and many other things..”
“How do I find this wasta?”
“If you don’t have direct ‘wasta’, you should ask around and associate yourself with someone who does. Using this method, you can obtain second or third-party ‘wasta’, which is just as effective in getting what you need.”
“Alright..I have made a note of this in my mind..What’s the next?”
“Mobile. It is unheard of to live in Kuwait and not have a mobile nowadays. Your mobile number is the equivalent of your social insurance number in other countries. To some people, mobiles are more important than house lines – people can live for years without a domestic phone line, but won’t go one day without mobile service.”
“That’s the first thing I did after landing in Kuwait, buy myself a line.!”
“The last of the WMDs is the Destination you want to be inside Kuwait. For that, a car is more of a necessity than luxury here. Once you get into your car, you rarely wish to get out. From your car you can pick up groceries, laundry, get food, buy flowers, go to church or the Friday football games, go look for a ‘new and cheap’ apartment, etc. Living in Kuwait, even for a short period of time, you get accustomed to staying behind the wheel.”
“Well.. for that I need to first get a driving license, isn’t it?"
“Yes.. use the first of your WMDs to get that!” I answered, “Back on the subject, a car is definitely a necessity to achieve your Destination. Unlike other countries, the transport system here is quite inconvenient. There is no train or metro, so the only public transportation available is the bus. But taking the bus to get to your Destination is like going on a tour of Kuwait. You will pass by many useless streets and areas, and a trip that is supposed to take a few minutes will take a couple of hours.”
“I guess I’ll have to wait for a while to be on the driver’s seat..” my friend said despondently.
“If you can’t get a license and a car soon, associate yourself with someone who has a car. This is transportation by association – a weapon that is required in your situation..”
“Guess what!.. Life doesn’t seem to be an inch brighter here as I thought..”
“It is certainly not.. specially in current times..!” I said, “The global economic crisis has bitten life to an uncertainty and turmoil. Many companies are laying off hundreds of staff, reducing operations and tightening budgets. People have lost their jobs and their homes, and are facing serious hardships..”
“But I see many of you guys celebrating like filmstars when you come down.. I too want to rock when I go back on holidays..”
“Everyone will be forced to change those habits because of the economic crunch and inflation.. Celebrating holidays will be apparently difficult when you can’t pay your rent or feed the family.. This is not a time to boast of one’s earnings.. Just ‘existence’ is sufficient.. to appreciate the blessings we already enjoy, the friendship we possess, and love we already have..”
“Yaar, before I hang up let me thank you for all the information, ..counseling... and ofcourse your time..”
“Ahlan wa salhan, you’re welcome!”
“Idealistic realism...beats my whole assessment of a 'greener' desert..! Hey, tell me something.... aren’t you the same guy I’ve known.. ..who refused to speak anything serious?”
“Well dude,” I replied, “that guy died a long time back.. I am his ghost!”
====================
:::Other short stories by Gasper Crasto:::
“Guess what!.. Life doesn’t seem to be an inch brighter here as I thought..”
“It is certainly not.. specially in current times..!” I said, “The global economic crisis has bitten life to an uncertainty and turmoil. Many companies are laying off hundreds of staff, reducing operations and tightening budgets. People have lost their jobs and their homes, and are facing serious hardships..”
“But I see many of you guys celebrating like filmstars when you come down.. I too want to rock when I go back on holidays..”
“Everyone will be forced to change those habits because of the economic crunch and inflation.. Celebrating holidays will be apparently difficult when you can’t pay your rent or feed the family.. This is not a time to boast of one’s earnings.. Just ‘existence’ is sufficient.. to appreciate the blessings we already enjoy, the friendship we possess, and love we already have..”
“Yaar, before I hang up let me thank you for all the information, ..counseling... and ofcourse your time..”
“Ahlan wa salhan, you’re welcome!”
“Idealistic realism...beats my whole assessment of a 'greener' desert..! Hey, tell me something.... aren’t you the same guy I’ve known.. ..who refused to speak anything serious?”
“Well dude,” I replied, “that guy died a long time back.. I am his ghost!”
====================
:::Other short stories by Gasper Crasto:::
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